The inspiration for this experiment came to me while I was reading Letters by a Modern Mystic by Frank Laubach. In his letters, Laubach describes his own “experiment of filling every minute full of the thought of God” (p. 4). The experience he describes feels so powerful to me that it motivated me to undertake my own experiment.

My journey on the path of practicing the presence of God started when I read Sermon on the Mount by Emmet Fox. That was in December of 2014. I began to do the practice on a semi-regular basis and could tell that is was training my mind in a positive way, but I wasn’t completely devoted to it. Despite the relatively casual way I approached the experience, I knew it was something very powerful and I felt uplifted when I practiced it.

However, while I could feel the positive effect, something else was occurring, something strange that I didn’t expect and that confused me. During the last 8 months I have expressed more anger and frustration in regard to my life circumstances than I ever have before as an adult. I used to think I was a laid-back, happy, positive, well-adjusted person. I used to believe I didn’t have much anger inside of me. The last 8 months have proved me wrong. At times I felt out of control. At times I wanted to throw and break things. I had temper tantrums. I cried a lot. I was overbearing. The ups and downs I was experiencing didn’t feel like me. For a long time I didn’t know what was going on and I placed blame outside of myself.

More recently, the idea that what I was going through had something to do with my spiritual journey settled in. I realized emotions were coming to the surface, the pendulum was swinging hard in the opposite direction, I was experiencing my dark side. I was often embarrassed of  my behavior. Gratefully, I have an amazing partner who has been able to see past my erratic, controlling behavior to the spark of the real me that has been and always will be there. He has been able to accept me in all my moodiness and to help me remember that the darkness I have been experiencing had to come out and that it isn’t the real me.

Then, at the beginning of July, 2015, I listened to an online teleseminar given by a guy named Roger Haeske about what he called Divine Power Attunement or God Focus. When I signed up for the teleseminar, I didn’t know exactly what it would be about. I was excited to find out that he was discussing the practice that I had been making a part of my life. This was fuel for my fire! It gave me a major boost. He created a group called Sunvatars and posted resources for members to read to help them on their journey. Finally, I didn’t feel alone in what I was doing and that made me more confident! I knew this had come into my life to let me know I was moving in the right direction and to encourage me to go even further.

Starting this blog has made it easier for me to devote myself to this journey. It has been a life changing already and I have a sense that this has only been the tip of the iceberg.

The views expressed by the people I have mentioned in this post are not necessarily my views. However, while my views and perspectives on certain things may be different than those who I have learned about this practice from, I can’t deny that I felt something light up inside me from their accounts and guidance. I’m grateful for that.


2 thoughts on “About

  1. It has been my experience that embracing our Shadow full force is one of the most alchemical spiritual practices we can undertake, and quite an initiation into a deeper and more loving, compassionate life. I wish you well on your journey!


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