My disconnection and my suffering…Are they real?

A thought is harmless

There are times when I feel disconnected from God. But is it possible to be disconnected from God? Lately, I began to think that my thoughts are the only things that can disconnect me from God. But again, I must ask, is it possible to be disconnected from God?

Upon investigation, and doing a technique called “the work,” which a woman named Byron Katie teaches, I have awakened to the experience that it’s not possible to be disconnected from God; that not even my thoughts can disconnect me; that there’s nothing I can do that can disconnect me from God.

I may think that I’m disconnected, but is there any proof of that?

The thought has crossed my mind that if I’m suffering, I must be disconnected from God. But can I absolutely know that that’s true?

No.

Through questioning, I came to realize that even when I suffer I’m connected with God.

But that realization brought me to a different question.

Do I choose to suffer? Maybe not. Does suffering just happen to me? Hmmm… I realized the question at the heart of this topic is When I think I’m suffering, can I absolutely  know that its true that I’m suffering?

What I found when I questioned this thought amazed me.

First of all, how do I react when I believe the thought that I’m suffering?

When I believe I’m suffering, I don’t see that really I’m not. Usually, I’m perfectly safe and well.When I believe the thought that I’m suffering I ignore all the ways that I’m not suffering. I also fail to consider that my suffering is nothing but a thought.

But is that true? Can it possibly be true that my suffering is nothing but a thought? Let me question the thought I suffer.

Can I absolutely know that it’s true that I suffer?

No.

Who would I be without the thought that I suffer? Who would I be if I weren’t capable of thinking the thought that I suffer?

This was a very new perspective to consider. I’ve known the thought of suffering for so long that it’s hard to imagine not knowing it. Is it possible to exist without thinking the thought that I suffer or that my suffering is real? When I sat and contemplated this for quite a while, this is what came to me:

If I wasn’t capable of thinking the thought I suffer or My suffering is real…

I would accept and experience things without fear. I would experience things as they happened and then be free of them. I would feel pain until I didn’t feel pain anymore. I would be hungry until I wan’t hungry anymore. I would feel sad until I wasn’t sad anymore….

The reality, of course, it that I am capable of thinking the thoughts I suffer and My suffering is real. So what does this mean to me now?  It means that if the thought crosses my mind that I’m suffering, I will think I’m suffering until I don’t think I’m suffering anymore… and as soon as I don’t think I’m suffering anymore, I won’t suffer anymore… and I will be able to experience what each moment presents…without suffering. And I will be open to experiencing until I can’t experience anymore…  None of what I experience requires my suffering.

Thanks for reading.

Rosalynn

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